On Forgiveness - ACTS 3:19
On Forgiveness - ACTS 3:19
In light of recent revelations in my life it is only fitting that I write about the sensitive topic of forgiveness, to give it what they say would be my take on the subject. Recently life slammed me hard with some dire realizations that I had either forgone in the past, or simply swept under the rug, or white washed. The first hurdle to forgiveness is fear, you can not afford to forgive someone if you are afraid of getting hurt, or are afraid of the repercussions of forgiving them. Guilty as charged I was. Because I had always thought too highly of myself. Partly because of the way I was raised and trained, but I wasn’t the arrogant type of person, I was much worse, I was the type that never really said anything bad until it was consumed into a geng-ki-dama like energy ball, and then it would wrought destruction. You can only begin truly forgiving when you are no longer afraid to accept the truth about what had happened. Only then is it truly possible to forgive. The second hurdle of forgiveness must be pride, in which you are simply too full of yourself to accept that others can be wrong, or much worse, that even you can be wrong. Again I was guilty as charged on this matter. I went on objectifying people thinking that they were no better than me, the audacity of it was extreme that I already had lost sight of myself in the process. Once you begin lowering or getting rid of your pride altogether the situation should improve for the better. The third hurdle of forgiveness, is rage. If you keep on harboring rage, anger, scorn, then naturally you cannot forgive because you are still angry at the situation, the other person, or yourself. In my case, guilty as charged on all counts. But the beauty is this is how I learned to forgive. So the flak was incoming from the interventionists who wished to set me straight in my ways. Constantly I was bombarded just like berlin, during the siege of berlin. I guess after a few sessions of talking and ranting and talking and fighting, and crying, and yes the tears were many, I sat in a corner, and saw my kid, and realized something that I had not realized ever. It was that there is hope, there is transcendence, there is possibility of change. Because just like a kid who can learn anything, so should I be. So if my kid could learn how to express affection, so should I be able to. So I began my attempt, in the light of a verse in acts, although not completely because I still cannot accept the explanation at times. Or perhaps I should say that I was able to repent and turn away from my ways, and in the process accept the enlightenment from the divine. This timeless verse in acts 3:19, which I only looked up now by the way, perfectly explains, what forgiveness is. It is about 1. acknowledging fault, 2. turning away from it. 3. accepting enlightenment about it. Perhaps it is a deconstruction of 3:19. because clearly 3:19 says something totally different, but the meaning is the same in essence at least.
To conclude perhaps the most important attitudes in life are humility, and listening. Because with these two traits, one should be able to empathize deeply with others, in a way that very few are able to. Had I not listened and listened both carefully and intently to the the feedback of my peers and friends, then perhaps I would still be harboring this cancer. Now I’m simply working to do this everyday of my life. To be both true to myself, true to those around me, and true to god. I did it because I have been converted, not in the christian sense, but in the human sense. I have changed from a bitter person, to one who knows what to listen for, and how to feel, as soon as I heard my own lips say, i’m sorry, forgive me for my misgivings, and the times when I failed, it was like a huge rock was lifted from my daily burden of life. It was like I was reborn, a refreshed man. So it is definitely a good experience for me. One experience no amount of money can buy, because these kinds of experiences are life changing. Everyday I will try to be asking for someone else’s forgiveness, because it is redeeming. Its not about avoiding failure, its about accepting it and overcoming it. That’s what life is about I guess. At the very least, that is where it has led me thus far.
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